THANK GOD FOR FIBRO

Although this is not very clear it is the ending segment of my son John's completion of his first Ironman.  This year as I struggled with a rare blood disease my word of confidence changed from Hope to Determination.  Besides my husband and family, John has been my inspiration to achieve my  dreams. As I watch him train for numerous hours, I found the inner strength to start again on the road to recovery, both mentally and physically.
Twelve years ago my goal was to be a professional body builder.  I made it to amateur. And them all hell broke loss in my life. I was 47 yrs old and in the best shape in my life. Strong, ripped and confident.  That very first year I lost my job as a trainer, my sport, my friends and organizations. I felt like I lost me. I did lose me.
Following is a short article I wrote for the Arthritis Society about my life with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  The time period is about 1 year into living with this new disease.

THANK GOD FOR FIBRO

  There are many details about tests, medicines, doctors, supplements, pain, lack of sleep, and a list of others situations to elaborate on.  At this point in my life the details serve no purpose.  If I could help just one person deal with this disease in a positive way then all of my suffering has not been in vain.  I truly am happy for all I have experienced though this year.  For without it I would not have been able to see all that I was missing and the necessary changes that were meant to be made in my life.

 I have learned more about life, people and myself than I could ever have imagined.  Now, I realize that I have so much to be thankful for.  I feel as though I am one of the lucky people in this world because I was given the opportunity to stop dead in my tracks and re-evaluate who I am, what my life is all about and where I want to go for the rest of my life.  I was taken off the vicious merry-go round and placed in a protective shell.  Within my shell a transformation happened. I have grown into a much healthier and simpler human being in mind and spirit.   I realized that all things have a purpose and that something positive generates from all negative.  I began to enjoy the present moment and stopped focusing on the future.  I began to accept help from people around me and realized that it is nice to receive.  I stopped controlling and allowed LIFE TO JUST BE. The world around me became a vibrant beautiful garden rather than a world filled with errands, chores and responsibilities.  It became my loving nurturing friend, one to whom I never have to prove anything to.  Competing, excelling, explaining, accomplishing were needs that began to dissolve.  Instead, a Spirit arose in me and showed be the meaning of peace, stillness and silence.  Within the comfort of this quiet darkness I began to listen, hear and respond to the meaning and purpose of my life. Like a snake shedding its skin, I am working to shed all that I no longer need in my life and all the parts of my life and myself that drained me of my energy.

I thank God for this experience with Fibromyalgia.  Although it is a daily struggle living with Fibro., one in which I have no doubts that I can handle, I take each day as a gift and open it with reverence and gratitude. For without this experience I would have missed the marvelous journey that I was intended to claim.